You guys, I have a not-that-embarrassing confession. I have terrible eyesight. Ever since I was six I have had to wear some sort of corrective lens. My first pair of glasses were pink plastic with these little divots in the side that looked like eyelashes. They were probably three sizes too large for my face. I guess the point was to grow into them, because I wore them until the 6th grade. Do you know what this did to my social status? Yep. Nerd-central over here.
When I was in the 6th grade I graduated to some equally large, but cooler, more grown-up frames. They were the most crooked godawful circular frames you’ve ever seen. Since they didn’t have the spring to bounce back to shape when injured, they acted as some sort of magnet for any flying object. While all my fellow middle schoolers traveled through time unscathed, my head was constantly the target of accidental wayward arms, slips on the tunnel slide, and my arch nemesis: THE TEATHERBALL. I wouldn’t even be playing effing teatherball and one would come flying and smash my glasses. Not the solution to my lack of coolness.
So, in the 8th grade, at the pinnacle of everything awful that happens to children, I got my first pair of contacts. It was love at first sight (heh). I could play sports without wearing Croakies! I could fling myself around on the dance floor like those fish at the end of that one song! I could kiss boys (in theory)!
It was years before I even cared one tiny bit about how I looked in glasses. I thought my face wasn’t made for them. The whole giant eyes/small face/tiny skull thing seemed too much a challenge for one pair of glasses to surmount. Then the folks at Tortoise & Blonde entered into my sad glasses-less life and filled the void with these deep purple “Delancy” frames. They didn’t seem concerned that I had never once had a flattering pair of glasses! They didn’t seem surprised when I told them that I feel cool in these! It’s like an everyday thing for them or something. I will tell you more about the company, but for now, feast your eyes on my glasses-inspired outfit and please note that there is not one teatherball in any of these shots.
October 3, 2011