Anyone who knows me knows I love Morrissey and of course the band The Smiths. Anyone who knows me really well knows that I have imagined what I would do if I ever met Morrissey in real life and always said he was the only celebrity I would loose my cool over (and possibly my bladder control). Anyone who knows me really really well knows that I have actually lost my cool over other, less amazing celebrities, but I’m not going into that today. Because today I am finally composed enough to tell you about the MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE: THE DAY I MET MORRISSEY.
How should you dress to nonchalantly hang out in a hotel lobby all afternoon after receiving word of a notoriously misanthropic famous person’s whereabouts? Well, you should not wear a giant concert t-shirt for starters. Wear something simple, but also not so simple as to seem like you don’t want to be noticed. No trenchcoats, large hats and sunglasses either. Don’t hide behind a bush. Wear your new galoshes (it’s raining) and the hotel staff will like them. You wont seem like a crazy stalker at all. Wear something comfortable for sitting and also something you can move quickly in (in case you need to nonchalantly run).
You might look non-intimidating enough for the band’s manager to notice that you are a fan, but not a scary one, and he might actually approach you and your similarly emphatic partner in crime and ask if you would stand outside the hotel so that Morrissey might actually stop and sign something for you. You might not know what to say then, but you will look like a normal person from a distance, which is all that matters. Because Morrissey might stop and talk to you and sign your crumpled, unprepared slip of paper, and then sign it again, not liking the first attempt due to his broken finger. You might be able to utter how much this person’s music has meant to you, and you might say that this is the best day of your life. And you might just die happy having been made to feel shockingly comforted by your lifelong idol, who didn’t have to be sweet to you at all, but was.
You might end up with this:
And then see this:
All because of course you were wearing this:
November 17, 2011